Orange Juice at Brunch

< rant>

Someone please explain to me why is it that when I order orange juice at brunch I get a thimble sized glass?  Is there some secret way to order a normal sized person order of orange juice?  If so, what is it?  Because $4.95 for a swig of juice is redic.

All I want with my blueberry pancakes is some (a decent amount of) orange juice!  Why is this such a crazy request?  You know what?  I think I am just going to start carrying around my own carton, nay, JUG of orange juice out to brunch.  It will be the start of a movement – give us juice or give us death! OK, not death, but you know, something serious like that.

If I ever open a brunch spot there will be unlimited juice.  UN. LIMIT. ED. Also, pancakes.  You heard it here first.

< /rant>

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Tacos

< rant>

You know what’s great?  Tacos.  For serious.  They are epic.  You can put all sorts of delicious things in them and you have a portable pocket of amazing.

There is a debate out there however about the soft vs hard taco.  Soft tacos are OK, but the flour tortilla should really be reserved for fajitas because pliability is key in this situation.  I appreciate the crunch of the hard taco because it is like eating nachos but also eating a taco – a two in one if you will.

Why aren’t more things in taco form?  I wonder if a breakfast taco would be legit.  Scrambled eggs, salsa, black beans and cheese – this sounds amazing.  Someone make this happen and deliver it unto me – please and thank you.

< /rant>

ps: happy new year!

Snow

< rant>

I normally do not like snow, but seriously it’s the end of December – where the heck is it? Did it get lost on the way here? I heard it snowed in Arizona. ARIZONA! That’s the desert! Does the snow not know where to go? Is it just like: you know what? I’m just gonna mess with everyone’s minds and show up in the dessert – that’ll teach em!

Cold without snow is just wrong.  And I know, the first snow is great and then it all turns to grey sludge that you curse on the daily especially when you have to climb over an ice mountain to get on the bus.  But still, let it snow already.

Seriously snow, what’s the deal? I really don’t want it to snow in July so could you just show up like next Tuesday? That’d be great. Kthxbai.

< /rant>

A Christmas Story

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A Christmas Story is the most amazing movie ever.  Fact.

And what is even more amazing is that TBS shows this amazingess for 24 hours straight on Christmas Day!!

All day long you can hear such classic gems as:

“Fra-gee-lay. It must be Italian!”

“I triple dog dare ya!”

“What is the name of the Lone Rangers nephew’s horse?
Victor.
How’d you know that?
Everyone knows that!”

“You’ll shoot your eye out kid!”

Why is this movie so amazing?  I have no idea – it just is.  Maybe that is what makes it amazing.  That you don’t even know why it’s amazing but it just is.  Or more likely, it’s that this movie is hilarious, heartwarming and another ‘h’ word to complete this alliteration.

What an amazing time to be alive when one can sprawl out on the sofa and veg out to A Christmas Story all day long.  Thank you TBS.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good viewing!

 

< /rant>

Saturday Morning Cartoons

< rant>

What happened to Saturday morning cartoons?  Where did all the good ones go?  What the hell is this dragon, ninja, wizard garbage?  Give me some Tiny Toons and Animaniacs!

You know why kids don’t know things any more?  Because they watch garbage like Magi-Nation and Sonic X.  I learned my states and capitals from Wakko and it was awesome.

Bring back good Saturday morning cartoons and the education crisis will be solved – you’re welcome.

< /rant>

And it begins

I’ve been told that I rant a lot. What’s a rant you ask? Well if you’ve met me before then you know the deal, but for those who have not had the opportunity to be immersed in my presence, let me enlighten you (can you tell I’m hella humble?).

A rant is a short burst of verbal fortitude that is normally associated with negativity, but in my world it can also relate to something positive – welcome.

Rants can be on any topic; from road rage and proper punctuation usage to sunny days and pumpkin cupcakes. The commonality of rants is that they are random. Randomness is where it’s at.

So sit back, grab a cupcake, and enjoy the ride. It’s gonna be epic.

PS: rant stipulation: I’ll do my best to update this thing but I’m lazy, fair warning.

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